“He has a right to criticize,” said Abraham Lincoln, “who has a heart to help.” But even if your heart is in the right place, perhaps your employee is “ultra touchy” because he doesn’t want to displease you, or feels you haven’t earned the right to criticize him. Either way, it’s a big problem.

Try taking yourself out of the loop by having the person evaluate his own work. If the employee performed a task that wasn’t the best work he could do, ask him, “What did you like best about what you did?” Once you’ve given him a chance to accentuate the positive, ask him, “What did you like least about what you did?” Finally, inquire, “In light of the results, what three things would you do differently next time?”

This way, you’ve allowed him to be his own toughest critic by evaluating his behavior first in a positive way, and then in a way that allows him room to criticize himself. Using this process, you are guiding the person to evaluate his own work and to make better choices in the future, plus you’re letting him critique his performance instead of you.

You’ll find that most people are harder on themselves than anyone else could be. After all, what you really care about is that he recognizes his mistakes, and that he knows how to keep from repeating them.